In March, a lay Catholic theologian, Stephen Webb, took his own life to the great grieving of his wife, children, friends and professional community at Wabash College and even to some of the readers of his published work, such as myself.
I mourn for Stephen Webb even though I did not know him personally. His work in First Things, particularly, “Saving Punishment,” affected me deeply. He was also brave enough to write about Christians and depression, and still, it claimed his life. As a people who exalt life, I can only hope that we can exalt his life and offer consolation to others because our faith has seen depression and suffering and there can be light on the other side of darkness.
In his essay, “Saving Punishment,” Webb tells the story of Jim, an incarcerated meth addict, who accidentally burned his toddler son while smoking the drug. In prison:
“He was still waking up from the nightmare of his actions, and he welcomed incarceration. He saw it as the chance to beat the drugs that had nearly destroyed him, and he prayed that his imprisonment would bring some comfort to the victims of his disordered life. But he feared, too, that no punishment would be enough to compensate for what he did to his son. His guilt reached depths that even the law does not dare to plumb” (First Things, April 2015).
From this, Webb draws out the importance of the Atonement, of Christ’s violent death in payment for the debt of humanity’s sins. To someone like me who is inclined to favor the “non-violent” approach, Webb’s piece reminds us of the vital need for true atonement, of God’s ability to repair things that cannot be repaired and also of the role of punishment (or penance, in Catholic terms) in rehabilitation; Webb lamented the often-lacking rehabilitation aspect in much of the prison system. To me, his article spoke of the true gravity of our misdeeds, even the small seeming ones, and of the immensity of Christ’s gift.
In another, more recent piece from March of 2016, “God the Depressed,” Webb wrote: “Theology is a form—arguably the original form—of therapy…it has to have some good news of its own concerning depression.” He saw depression as deeply spiritual, despite its other aspects:
“Depression itself tends to be a deeply religious experience, but it is an experience of God’s resistance to your most pressing personal petitions. The more you cry out for help, the more distant God can appear to be. This is negative theology gone deeply awry.”
Perhaps a lot of us experience God in this way. Depression is frightfully common even if not often spoken of.
Yet, Webb’s colleague, Samuel Rocha, remembered him as a man full of life in a moving essay: Webb “loved in an intense and worldly way. He sang Dylan to his wife Diane at the karaoke bar, treasured his time doing prison ministry.” It sounds as though joy could indeed radiate through him, and still we are left missing him. It is impossible to say if more could have been done, and painfully inefficacious to speculate on, unless for the future benefit of others.
Mental illness is full of contradictions and difficulties, and no one is immune. It’s not something we like to talk about because it can be embarrassing for a faith tradition that promises hope. Webb even commented that, “church leaders and theologians talk so little of this befuddling malady.” Deep friends are sometimes able to venture into these murky waters. And pray we do and do it often because no one needs to feel ashamed of depressive thought
Although depression claimed him, I believe Webb was right when he wrote above that theology can be a form of therapy, if by that he means a way to understand ourselves and give suffering meaning. As Catholics, we understand suffering not as injustice but as part of life, the cross on the way to the Resurrection.
Despite little present day mention from bishops or theologians, the Catholic tradition is peppered with saints who struggled with darkness, dryness and downright depression. St. Dymphna, an early medieval saint, is the patroness of those who experience mental illness. Belgium was founded under her patronage. Modern saints too such as Mother Theresa of Calcutta and Venerable Francis Libermann have written about their experiences of darkness and distance from God. The latter wrote: “I never cross a bridge without the thought of throwing myself over the parapet, to put an end to these afflictions. But the sight of my Jesus sustains me and gives me patience.” Granted, these are not thoughts we want to have or encourage. But often, they are with us, and denying their reality can be counter-productive.
Depression is real and something that Catholics can and do deal with using tools to understand and heal from it. In an interview on their 2013 book, A Catholic Guide to Depression, (2013), Dr. Aaron Kheriaty and Msgr. John Cihak discuss depression, its psychology, philosophy and how it relates to medicine and faith.
Dr. Kheriaty says that depression is complex, with spiritual and psychological and physical aspects, some under our control, many not, such as: “biological factors, genetic predispositions, familial and early attachment problems, interpersonal loss, traumatic experiences, early abuse, neglect, and so on.”
Whatever the cause, depression often does affect the spiritual lives of the faithful, but also many patients draw strength and hope from the teachings and promises of Christ. Msgr. Cihak added that: “our Faith has profound things to say about depression, its deepest theological origins, its redemption by Jesus Christ and its transformation in His Church.” They enjoin the faithful to seek treatment and/or advice when it is needed. They harmonize medical science and the perspective of the faith, building bridges between fields, aiming to educate, encourage and help.
But even medicine and faith are not always enough. Dr. Kheriaty says, “suicide is, tragically, all too common. It is now the second leading cause of death among college students…” and its effects on those who survive them can be harsh:
Many family members and friends struggle for the rest of their lives with a sense of guilt and self-blame after the death of a loved one by suicide, wondering what they might have done to prevent it. In my professional experience, some suicides can be prevented, and we should always do whatever we can to lower a person’s risk of suicide.
And yet, with all the treatments and help available, some people still take their own lives. Kheriaty says: “That being said, there are some suicidal individuals who are very difficult to assist.” What then? With faithful resources of hope, he answers, “In these instances, we place these individuals prayerfully in the hands of God, as the Catechism states with pastoral sensitivity: ‘We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives’ (2283). And so should we.”
Sometimes all we can do is pray. Sometimes there is more. When more is in order, may we always be there to listen to others and to ourselves, finding no cause for shame in this affliction which is with so many people from saints to theologians and the ordinary lay faithful. If we can understand it, may the light of faith reveal that suffering comes with hope.
And when, for others, the illness still wins, we weep and pray. May we find joy in their lives, and hope in God’s providence and that other sufferers of depression will come to better days because so many do. No matter the darkness, we are a people of hope. Jesus said, “I came that you may have life and have it abundantly” (John 10:10).
Stephanie Pacheco is a freelance writer and convert from Northern Virginia. She earned a M.A. in Theological Studies, summa cum laude, from Christendom College and holds a B.A. from the University of Virginia in Religious Studies with a minor in Government and Political Theory. Her work has been featured in America Magazine, Crisis Magazine, Soul Gardening Journal and syndicated by EWTN and Zenit. She blogs about making sense of the Catholic Faith in modern life at theoress.wordpress.com and lives with her husband and two young children.
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